I absolutely hate this too. I am completely aware of my actions, I know just what I am doing, but I can't stop. I can't stop talking in a horrid tone, or screaming really loud, or sounding like a complete and utter jerk. What's wrong with me? What's going on with me? Why am I having such a hard time and all these troubles of controlling myself?
Usually, I'm very open minded, caring and loving. But when my Mr. Hyde comes out it's selfishness/self-centered-ness, not caring, and hatred. Who is this Mr. Hyde that is partially beginning to control, and ruin me? I need to get it out of me.
Perhaps it's a feeling that's trapped that I can't let go and it's effecting my mind and not allowing me to be happy. Is it possible for a feeling to have this kind of power? I wouldn't think so, but I suppose if I have many bottled up feelings that are trying to come out, and trying to make themselves known, they could all at once affect me very negatively. Anything is possible right?
I just remember when I used to always be happy. "Happiness is a choice" is exactly how I lived. Even though that saying rings in my ears, it doesn't seem to always connect correctly into my brain anymore.
