More Time.
I only every write in the most difficult times in my life. It's what I have noticed about myself. During the "dark days" I have this constant motivation to write everything that I am thinking and feeling on any and every forum I absolutely can. Most importantly, my journal, of course. The one thing that I will probably keep forever and ever, even after the internet explodes and gets it's guts everywhere.
History repeats itself.
Totally cliche, but absolutely accurate. It's all a reoccurring memory that I've had to live through in my mind, so many times before. Don't feel bad. I've accepted it. But now that I am seeing this trend, it awakens my senses. I've activated my alarm so it will sound at the heart-beat pounding that happens every time. I never will regret it. It's still stinging, slowly healing in time, just give it some time.
This time, I've timed it. It's a miracle. I've arrived at where I never wanted to be. I've walked here, no ran here and I'll stay forever. It has always been this hard for me to say anything that makes sense to anyone else but me. As many times as I have shoved a translator down my throat, it keeps coming back up more scattered than before.
Coping with this disease I had many years before, and now it's found me again and haunting my dreams. Please don't be mad at me, for these letters grouped together to form something you read. It's just something I can't help but to do. I've done it before. I'm doing it again. I never thought this would happen. But it did.
