Told Without Wanting To Listen

I was a jerk to you, for someone else's sake. I am sorry. How can I go back and change how I have acted? How can I ever forgive myself? I was just getting to know you, and then they went and told me about you. Things I would've rather you told me yourself. I am sorry. I shouldn't have listened. I knew when I was being told that I should have closed my ears. I should have told them to stop. I wanted to be able to know you through you and not by someone else. You didn't deserve being ignored. You had no idea what was going on. I want to apologize...but I'm afraid to.

There is no excuse. How can I make an excuse? It's my own fault. I didn't speak up for them...or myself. I didn't tell them to stop talking...and I didn't stop listening...

I don't care to know things about other people whom I have never met. Whom I might actually meet someday. I could've almost became good friends with them. But you stopped me, because you told me everything bad about them when I didn't want to hear. I listen only because I don't know what else to do. Next time I will say stop. But I just don't want to hurt you. Is that better though, than knowing someone is being hurt behind their back without even knowing it? I can't live with knowing things about other people without knowing them first. Why did you have to tell me this?

I am truly...sorry!!